I have spent over 15 years on a personal growth journey, and I found things that worked and things that didn’t work…
But deep down, for so many years, I never felt a massive shift. Deep down, I felt like a spectator to my own life. I didn’t have a word for it. I tried to explain it to therapists and doctors, but they couldn’t help.
Even after years of therapy and tons of medication. I was still l struggling with intense anxiety and near-constant depression. I even had more than one doctor tell me that because I had had re-occurring major depression, I would have it for the rest of my life.
On top of the depression and anxiety, my body felt like it was falling apart.
Year after year, I would get new diagnoses—IBS, endometriosis, Hashimotos, GERD, sleep apnea, POTS, PMDD, dermatitis, myofascial pain, fibromyalgia, and more. I felt 90 when I was in my 20s.
As I was working to improve my mental health, my physical health was getting worse, which, of course, was a struggle because physical pain is mentally challenging to cope with.
And it all came to a boiling point, and my body couldn’t handle it any longer. I started to lose feeling in my toes, and then my feet, and then my hands…. then the tremors started… I felt like I had new symptoms every day.
It got to the point where I couldn’t walk anymore. I couldn’t take care of myself.
Doctors kept running tests and telling me everything was “fine.”
Finally, I made it to Cleveland Clinic, where I was given a diagnosis—Functional Neurological Disorder.
I was devastated but, at the same time, relieved to have a diagnosis. So, what is FND? The best way I have heard it described is… it’s like having a computer with a software glitch. The brain (computer) is structurally fine but not triggering correctly. And doctors don’t know why.
What they do know is that there is a correlation (for some patients) between trauma and FND. This is what began my journey to first begin to understand how trauma can impact the body.
And it felt like a lightbulb had finally gone off! My body has been fighting to stay alive for almost 40 years—of course, things are bound to stop working correctly!
But, the good part????
I finally figured out what was missing. I finally found all the puzzle pieces so that I could live a happy life. I’m still working on healing my body. I have faith my body will catch up because now I have the tools and the knowledge.
Unfortunately, conventional medicine aims to treat the symptoms without looking for the root cause. This is the ultimate disservice to trauma survivors. Your body is showing different symptoms with one root cause—unresolved trauma.
When you keep trying to cover the symptoms, and you don’t heal the wound (unresolved trauma), things just continue to get worse)
Can you relate?
Here’s my best attempt at visualizing my journey.
I don’t want others to spend years struggling. So I started sharing, and I started teaching all these things.
I’m working on my Master’s in Neuroscience and Trauma to continue my research and be part of the much-needed change in this field—my goal is to pursue a doctorate. Furthermore, during this journey, I created a scientifically backed healing method called the Holistic Trauma Reset™. It’s a holistic way to recover from complex trauma because I don’t want others to endure prolonged suffering like I did.
